Of Saints and Shadows

You call me fake But don't you hear the things I tell you It's all there I can't change To be something I'm not Someone I'm not But someone you think I should be Maybe life would be easier then Maybe I wouldn't go through days alone My soul is heavy with loneliness I need to take life a day at a time My soul heavy These lines, the ones running through my body Marking me as different These invisible lines can attest to that I'm losing myself I can feel it Separation of mind and body Separation of who I am and who you want me to be Need me to be Who do I need to be? One day at a time It's all I can take and still exist

The water shakes me from my thoughts But it isn't raining At least not outside my window The weather inside my head has never cooperated I always knew there would be days like this I've lived enough of them by now Why did I wake up thinking any different Why did I wake up But even my dreams are against me Will I ever see the sunshine again Dancing in the rain just isn't the same without you *** For the beautiful memories you made with me. Treasured as they may be. It is time I made them anew with someone else. Never to be forgotten. Only enhanced. 12/03/06

It seems I can't remember how to be happy And you're not here Whether that's fact or fiction doesn't seem to matter Not much anyway But you're not here Tell me how to be happy again I can't remember Was I ever really happy? I can't remember the feeling It seems I can't remember how to be happy Oh well I can't be missing much Can I?