Of Saints and Shadows

Only time can tell And it's keeping your secret Safe I can't win

Do you believe me now? Never meant to be caged Free You couldn't keep me Even if you wanted to It was never about you What you wanted My control My choice I allowed you Loved you Now I pay the price When will you hurt me? Count the days Hours It will happen Inevitable It happened once before You can't deny the truth Of my words Of your thoughts Desires My naive hope My hopeful mistake How I loved it How I hate you now

To know all they see and want is a quick fuck and nothing more You must take care of yourself There is no one for you While you may be placed in charge of the care of others There is no one for you So cry, cry some more Perfect Cry away all the pain In drops of crystal stars And when there are no more tears To cry and no more pain for them to hold You will be free To know nothing has changed and will always be the same To be forever nothing and numb.

I see no beauty Staring back Only a darkness I can’t contend To drown my sorrows Such a thing impossible to me Burdened to forever see the truth as it may come No love to ever claim as my own I am the place men go when in between Waning years Between what is fake and what is truth Those pretty lies Oh, only one more night But I can’t claim that It is not for me Not my right Alone, always alone in this world I walk a darkening path The truth you could have told me Though it would have broken me These false truths break and destroy everything All that was left There is nothing No savior but myself I can’t save myself I am too far gone The tears I cry I always say will be my last Why is that never true? Don’t you hear me? Of course you don’t

Immortality Greater than it seems Life of adventure Life of knowledge But you can never be free to live That is reserved for the living And you, my friend, are in limbo At the end of the world You are the last at Death’s door This is the way it was written Death grips your hand Cold and boney Will he turn you out or take you in? Death could never turn you away You cheated him for so long Now is his time His dominance.

This is my present to you: Did you think you could break me? You’re not the first My advice to you is Try harder I’m not the china doll you think I am And I don’t break so easy Eat away at the cracks You may be surprised.

There was so much and nothing that brought this on I know I'm nothing Not to you or anyone else Even to myself Why do I hold my head so high You say I'm independent and mysterious Independent because I have no other choice I couldn't even stop if I wanted to Mysterious because I only answer to what you ask None of that. No offering up of bullshit or truth All I am is what I tell you Why do you think there's more When there couldn't be Impossible I cry out There's no one particular reason Maybe it's you You'd like that...if you cared to know But now my head feels tight These compresses are closing in There isn't much space left Not for me but maybe you.